One-Star Revue: MOBY DICK

Inspired by reading a one-star review of MR. DARCY, VAMPYRE I decided to look up some more one-star reviews on Amazon. Today's target is in honor of the Autumn of Dick, which you can still participate in if you are diligent with your reading. These are all real blurbs and there are no spoilers.

• J. Blackhorse: "There was absolutely no story. It was all about fishing."
• A Customer (2001-A): "It leaves you with that, 'I hate myself' feeling you get after accidentally destroying a major city with a hydrogen bomb or something."
• Gertrude Whitman: "It does have some pretty, but useless, drawings of whaling boats."
• A Customer (1998): "The opening was great, but then all these horrendous allusions kept popping up. I mean: pages devoted to the act of just plain sleeping, and then more pages devoted to eating?"
• John Boehner: "I came here to fight monstrosities like this" -- oh, sorry, that was about HCR 3962, carry on.
  
• A Customer (1999): "I love literatur [sic] just as much as the next guy but we must face it 100 years or so ago American literature was reall [sic] weak and lagging from the rest of the world, perhaps now they're starting to catch up with writers like Ann [sic] Rice and them."
• A Customer (2001-B) "I feel as if my brainards [Ed.: ???] are going to freeze over and crumble like spoiled peanut brittle."
• nickoli: "There are many better books on sea adventure."