15 September 2005

Vonnegut Update

As mentioned by the lovely Sarah, Vonnegut is indeed still alive. Not only that, I just saw him on "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." Not only that, he was hilarious.

Watch the madness here. My offer still stands, Mr. Vonnegut! Come forth and receive the Tinfoil Prize!

05 September 2005

LN VS. ML extra: LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER, the sitcom pitch

Okay, so there's this woman. She's grown up wealthy, goes to school in a big city, very worldly... no, not Paris, I was thinking more Reese from "Legally Blonde," like she's smart, but cute as well. OK, Reese marries this nice, old-rich young guy, a Rockefeller or a Vanderbilt type, and then he goes off to war... No, not a political drama. Definitely not Iraq!...I'm not a communist... Fine, you win, he's on a really dangerous business trip and he gets into an accident, where he loses -- well, there's no way to put this delicately, but he can't have sex any more. He's disabled... You think the disabilities people are going to sue us? Yeah. Fine. Whatever. The point is that it's irreversible. No kids, no bed time, nada. So he resigns from his job and decides to become a writer, since he's independently wealthy. So we have this young, sexy, married...Sure, we could give her a throwaway job, maybe an antique store, art gallery...young, sexy, functional housewife whose husband... No, we can't get Pam Anderson to play her. That's not what we were really thinking...Carson? From "Queer Eye"? I guess we could write him in, but that's not really the point. Anyway, the show's about her struggle to remain faithful, while acknowledging the fact that she's young and... No, we had pictured maybe by midseason sweeps she might take a lover, maybe her husband would say something like, I want us to have a child, even though it's not with me...You want that to happen in the pilot? Well, that is sort of unexpected. I mean, don't you think we should take more time to develop... Okay, I guess that could work... Well, ideally it wouldn't be competing with that infertility show, because we're not dealing with a reversible thing here. Yeah, I know the ADA is not going to like it, but that's just... So say there's this really hot, masculine groundskeeper we bring in as the love interest...Lawn boy? Well, if it worked for The O.C., Desperate Housewives... No, see if it was her husband's business partner, that's really not what we're... Okay, we'll look into it. Maybe the butler, or a security guard. The point is... I'm not trying to be classist here, I just think... Okay, Reese trying to resist temptation with the help of her sassy gay friend and... You want Steve Carell as the love interest? You know, I really don't think we're on the same page here at all. It's supposed to be someone masculine, you know, muscled... A lawyer? You know, maybe we're going in a different direction on this... Did you just say David Spade as the husband? Okay, that's it. I'm leaving. We're done here.