Respect to Longfellow

Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the midnight ride of Paul Revere,
He who warned and, uh, the arms,
And bells were rung out as alarms
To tell the British we were there,
And had our guns, and to beware.

He said to his friend, “Abe Lincoln, listen
I am riding out alone
On a super-secret mission.
You can’t get me by telephone
But if you don’t hear from me by ten
Send me a text and only when
I’m at the hotel I’ll hit you back.
This way the rebels can’t attack
And long will fly the Union Jack.”

 --first two verses of "Paul Revere's Ride by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Sarah Palin" by Ben Greenman, in the New Yorker. I usually find Greenman's homages tedious to annoying -- I know, you'd think this would be right in my wheelhouse and it has turned out the opposite! Like my "Glee" problem! -- but this is just perfect.