Five Shakespeare Plays I Wish Had Been Discovered Instead Of "Edward III"

"Ariel And Caliban" Precursor to the modern buddy movie. Prospero's semi-willing partners in crime get up to their own tricks -- it's every supporting pair of Disney characters ever meets "Pineapple Express."(1)

"Nurse Before Capulet" Before she gave counsel to a young Juliet, the character who Shakespeare didn't even bother to name properly(2) had her own... forbidden... affair.(3)

"Exeunt, Pursued By A Bear" A meta-play about the source of inspiration in which a well-known playwright named Wilfred Shakes struggles to envision a romance for adults, beat writer's block and keep his bills paid.

"Portia, J.D."(4) She was just a Venetian socialite when she argued the case that made her famous. Now she's rewriting postnups for her former social rivals by day and solving the murder of a government informant that will take her right up to the Doge's palace.

"Leaving Elsinore" It really sucks when your best friend's murderous uncle finally gets to him! But sometimes in life, there's nothing to do but move forward. [Cue Sara Bareilles] This sequel was reviled by the critics but made a lot of money at the box office.

It's Friday, go on and write your own.

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1. And as with "Pineapple Express," the play ends with SPOILER Prospero, Ariel and Caliban, all slightly singed and sitting in a diner where Prospero tries to launch into "Our revels now are ended" and Caliban throws his coffee in his face. Really ahead of its time. /SPOILER
2. Does that bother anyone else?
3. Based on "Coco Before Chanel" which is an all right movie, I'd say rent it if you like Audrey Tautou and period dramas.
4. No disrespect to the lawyers in the crowd who did much more to become qualified than make stirring speeches and cross-dress. Although I'm sure you could do those too, if you wanted...