Dear People Who Signed Off On This Movie Poster For The Forthcoming Adaptation Of Jodi Picoult's "My Sister's Keeper"

What in the blue hell is this? Did any of you READ this book? Because, if so, you know that this poster is a chocolate-covered lie with warm deception sauce and two scoops of preposterous.

I have no particular love for Jodi Picoult's book and think any movie which dares to promote itself "from the director of 'The Notebook'" deserves to lay on the 4 for $20 table at Blockbuster forever(1), but this is a travesty. For those who don't know, this book is about a girl trying to medically emancipate herself from her parents because they conceived her as a genetic match and donor for her older sister, and now Sis needs a kidney. (Or, by the transitive property, NEVER LET ME GO minus PREP.) In other words, this movie is not at all like THE NOTEBOOK. Nor does it take place in a hazy garden sprinkled with motes of light, but I can see how you would make that mistake!

I haven't seen "My Sister's Keeper" because it doesn't come out until June 26, so I can't properly determine that it will suck. And it does have Alec Baldwin in it -- I believe he plays the kindly bubble man who gives Cancer Kid in the corner her first wand. I have seen "The Notebook,"(2) which suffers from a lot of things including the absence of Alec Baldwin, but I would put it in the genre of romantic drama.(3) This is more like a family drama, and anyone who sees the poster and goes in expecting a string of tender moments will probably want their $16.50 (4) back.

What this poster says to me is: "Medically emancipating yourself can be fun! And your mommy will totally understand. And somewhere in the distance, your sister will blow bubbles preciously, as if to emphasize the fragility of life. Hers, in this case. but never mind that!"

If I didn't already have several reasons to not see this movie, I've sure got one now. Shame on you, New Line Cinemas and Curmudgeon Films (ooh, but good call on the name there).

Poster source: filmofilia.com. It's not their fault.

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1. On the other hand, judging by Nick Cassavetes' resume, there's not a lot to talk about. "John Q," "Alpha Dog," a Marisa Tomei-Gena Rowlands buddy movie? From the director who is also some dude in "Face/Off"? I would have gone with "From the best-selling novel by Jodi Picoult."
2. Look, my Spanish host mom foisted a pirated copy on me when I was too sick to say no. Do I get any respect back for watching it dubbed in Spanish? No?
3. I hate "The Notebook," but less for what it was (cringe-inducing script, decent acting by leads with good chemistry) and more for what it represents: It is but one course in the unending dinner of movies I, as a lady of a certain quadrant, am supposed to love and instead can't stand. I have even been accused of not being a romantic because I didn't love "The Notebook," but I would argue it isn't even that romantic of a movie, and I could give you ten better without blinking. I am hardly alone in this belief! And this footnote has clearly wandered off another blog, perhaps Tiger Beatdown.
4. Had an Old Moment this weekend at the movies when the machine spat out this price for "Up" in 3-D. It was the glasses. And the fact that we went to the Empire in Times Square, but the glasses played a part. Pixar, do you know how hard it is to cry with two sets of glasses on? Do you??