13 December 2012

You don't want to work here

Before yesterday Dalkey Archive Press was known as a well-regarded small press specializing in translations.

Today it is known as the issuer of one of the most insane job postings of all time. Apparently to work at Dalkey, one must have no life and no soul. Click for full insanity or enjoy these excerpts:

  • "The Press is looking for promising candidates with an appropriate background who... do not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.)"
  • "Any of the following will be grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period: coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. DO NOT APPLY if you have a work history containing any of the above."
  • "Office Manager [duties include]... doing all and everything that will make work for others easier."
  • "Assume that you will be one of the unpaid interns until you are ready to take on all the responsibilities of a position."
  • "We certainly seek people with relevant experience, but just as important or more so, we seek people who know what a job is."

Also, would you trust someone who works at your press and doesn't write? just curious.


Marjorie said...

It's just so cosmically unfair when you take on an unpaid intern who is available to you 24/7 and on holidays and they turn out to have a history that includes making mistakes.

D.H. Sayer said...

Huh. Maybe it's just to scare away the slackers? Though this could've been accomplished with much fewer words by just demanding that all applicants turn in a book report on The Recognitions AND JR. That would weed out those not serious about capital-L Literature.