Least anticipated book of the summer

The funniest thing on the Internet right now is "Sorr about the bag," a phrase from a story on the site 2 Birds 1 Blog. The second funniest thing on the Internet right now is the Amazon publisher-provided product description for Glenn Beck's novel, THE OVERTON WINDOW. Let's get to the purple prose:

A plan to destroy America, a hundred years in the making, is about to be unleashed... can it be stopped?

Killer opening, in that it describes practically every action movie since "Red Dawn."

"There is a powerful technique called the Overton Window that can shape our lives, our laws, and our future. It works by manipulating public perception so that ideas previously thought of as radical begin to seem acceptable over time. Move the Window and you change the debate. Change the debate and you change the country."

Here's where I got confused. It sounds like self-help, no? Like THE SECRET meets mind control infused with 1984? Turns out the idea of an Overton window is actually a political theory concept, and some people are pretty ticked that Beck borrowed it for a soon-to-be airport thriller.

For Noah Gardner, a twentysomething public relations executive...

I assume that "public relations executive" is the way Beck signifies to the audience that his hero is not a "real man," and is instead an ineffectual wuss and worse -- without making him, I don't know, a hairdresser or a member of the Village People. I'm laughing not because those stereotypes are funny, but rather because (a) conservatively, PR is 66 percent female and (b) you couldn't have thought of something, I don't know, more impressive? At least make him the vice president of something. Or an i-banker. That would kill two symbolic birds with one metaphoric stone.

(No disrespect to the publicists I know. Book publicists are pretty much the best kind of PR out there and I have never been mistreated by one, for real.)

...it's safe to say that political theory is the furthest thing from his mind. Smart, single, handsome, and insulated from the world's problems by the wealth and power of his father, Noah is far more concerned about the future of his social life than the future of his country.

Still snickering. Also, I'm pretty sure I read this book when it was pink and the hero's name was Naomi.

But all of that changes when Noah meets Molly Ross, a woman who is consumed by the knowledge that the America we know is about to be lost forever. She and her group of patriots have vowed to remember the past and fight for the future--but Noah, convinced they're just misguided conspiracy-theorists, isn't interested in lending his considerable skills to their cause.

So much to love! Molly Ross = Betsy Ross + Molly Pitcher! The hyphen between "conspiracy" and "theorists," which no one ever uses ever! (You can practically hear the sighs of old men bookending it.) The group of patriots, or as we will call them, the "Schmee Tardy," to show Noah-Naomi the error of his ways!

And then the world changes.

DUH DUH DUHHHHHHH

An unprecedented attack on U.S. soil shakes the country to the core and puts into motion a frightening plan, decades in the making, to transform America and demonize all those who stand in the way. Amidst the chaos, many don't know the difference between conspiracy theory and conspiracy fact--or, more important, which side to fight for.

I'm totally naming my new band Conspiracy Fact.

But for Noah, the choice is clear: Exposing the plan, and revealing the conspirators behind it, is the only way to save both the woman he loves and the individual freedoms he once took for granted.

What if it were on the other foot? What if it were the lady or the freedoms? Just curious!

It must also be noted that Beck asked his fans to vote on the cover design of the book, but unfortunately they went with the least insane option (#2).

This is Beck's second foray into fiction (after THE CHRISTMAS SWEATER) and you may be surprised to discover, between his books and a magazine -- oh yeah, he has one of those -- the fake crier of Fox News makes $13 million a year from publishing. But that part is not funny at all.