Spotted on the subway

The surveillance continues, only the posts have slowed. On one of my flights out for Thanksgiving the woman next to me was reading UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN. Apparently, people still do that?! On the way back I saw a woman who was watching back-seat TV but had a copy of THE MARRIAGE PLOT planted on her tray table.

I know a lot of people who own this book and not many who have read it cover-to-cover like this guy on the train was. Sandy brown hair, plaid shirt under a peacoat, corduroys. He was totally engrossed, more so than I was in my book (clearly).

Also take note of the Better Book Titles version of this cover.

Headline speaks for itself

From Gothamist.com: Introducing The Caulfield, A Phony New Bar Holden Would Have Hated

Why the birds and pigs hate each other

"We just loved that they wanted to share something so essential to their culture with us and other fans - the pigs try to steal the eggs because they are hungry and these recipes are a huge part of that tale." -- Rovio VP Sanna Lukander on the first Angry Birds book, BAD PIGGIES' EGG RECIPES. Really, an essential bit of backstory.

There are some odd synergies. The two met years after their wars, onstage at a literary festival in 1968, and became great friends and eventually neighbors. Heller’s war was up in the air, as a bombardier in the nose cone of a B-25. Vonnegut’s was at ground level, as an infantryman in the Battle of the Bulge, and ultimately beneath ground level, in the basement of Schlachthof-Fünf during the firebombing.

Both men were profoundly, and with respect to their war novels, specifically influenced by the French author Louis-Ferdinand Céline. Both their novels were numerically titled — Heller had to retitle his original “Catch-18” when Leon Uris brought out his “Mila 18.”

In a detail that struck me as, well, weird, Vonnegut’s breakthrough moment while he was trying to get a handle on how to write his novel came during a visit to a war buddy — in Hellertown, Pa. More ironic is that both World War II novels ended up being Vietnam novels.

--Christopher Buckley on Vonnegut and Heller in the New York Times Book Review this week.

Didn't expect it to be that easy! (That's what she said.)

Normally when the Literary Review's Bad Sex in Literature finalists are announced every year I recognize one, maybe two of the titles under review. Well, this must be my lucky year because I can speak to two closely and one with a fairly high level of probability. Hooray? Who knows, next year I could end up a panelist! Great, let me clear some space on my résumé of questionable life experiences.

• Regarding PARALLEL STORIES by Peter Nadas: There are a lot of sex scenes in this book and I was unable to find which one was up for the blue ribbon here. If it's the epic hundred-pager interrupted by a Budapest drawing room with a bunch of middle-aged biddies clucking over it, then no, that should be up for the Most Audacious Sex Award. If it's 10 pages in the same pair of pants, then no.
• Regarding THE GREAT NIGHT by Chris Adrian: Since this is an adaptation/ updating of "A Midsummer Night's Dream," the sex in this book tends toward the dreamy fairy orgy variety. It's not particularly graphic, but a little tiresome in the overwhelming Meaning Of It All.
• Regarding THE LAND OF PAINTED CAVES by Jean M. Auel: I'm only noting this because if this woman wrote a book every year she would make this list and win every year. Just keep that in your pocket the next time you see your great-aunt reading this in hardcover. And that's where my vote would go. Anecdotal evidence in 2011 has revealed to me that there ought to be a support group for past readers of this series.

Among the other nominees: Stephen King for 11/22/63, Simon Van Booy's EVERYTHING BEAUTIFUL BEGAN AFTER (a little quirky) and James Frey for THE FINAL TESTAMENT OF THE HOLY BIBLE (oh I just bet).

One-Star Revue: 2666

All real 1-star customer reviews on Amazon. No spoilers.

• "I feel like I lost time and I don't want my money back (only because I borrowed it from the library)."
• "I wish he was alive so that we could ask him, 'Why Roberto? Why?'"
• "Guess I'm destined not to get Bolano, like I don't get Jean-Luc Godard... " [Ed. note: *~~*SAD TROMBONE*~~*]
• "There are many reviews here that are way more specific than the ones I had heard/read, and I appreciate that some people really like this book. I am fascinated to meet one of them live some day and have a conversation."
• "As to comparisons with Kafka's unfinished masterpieces, The Trial and The Castle, that only makes me angry."
• "I can see how this might have been written by a very ill man."
• "This book would make a great table leg, coaster, or booster seat for a small child."
• "I would prefer to be boiled alive in oil."

Earlier (a long time ago): One-Star Revue: MOBY DICK

Black Friday haul

Books purchased at independent bookstore: 2
Books purchased at independent bookstore as gifts: ...0.

Inscription in my secondhand copy of THE ENGLISH PATIENT

In gold marker pen:
"This is the first book
I've really read in
years. Enjoy,
love L...... (x)"

There's also a bit either in French or some other Romance language I don't recognize. And a bookmark from the Longhouse Bookshop, 497 Bloor Street West, Toronto.

Reading on the Road: For this relief, much thanks

This is my third weekend of travel in November and my fourth out of the last five. It's been a busy few weeks over at HQ -- I wonder if my roommates remember who I am? (Kidding! I'm the one who got them hooked on homemade espresso! It's a gift that keeps on giving.) I'm packing a stack of paperbacks that have been sitting around including THE RISK POOL, THE IMMORTAL LIFE OF HENRIETTA LACKS and THE MONSTER OF FLORENCE.

Would you characterize your holiday family breaks (that's for all of you who may not celebrate American Thanksgiving) as high-downtime or low-downtime? I guess "it depends on the holiday" would be the prevailing answer, in any case, but Thanksgiving in my family has been fairly high-downtime in recent years. I feel I have to establish this before you paint this picture in your mind of me hiding in a corner while the rest of my family carves the bird in order to read more. (But at age 6, sure!) The downtime is not only how we roll, it's how the 3 members of my family who are in education (2 in college, 1 teaching) get caught up so they, too, can actually enjoy some of their time off. And if I end up spending my entire vacation laughing at cheesy holiday displays and talking my sister out of dragging me to see "Happy Feet 2"? There's always the flight time.

I love writing about giant unapproachable novels, so the news of a forthcoming 27-volume novel should be right up my alley... but, every three months? And Mark Z. Danielewski? That first vol better be a grabber.

Hot Guys As/ In Literature

This list of the Top 10 Literary Hunks (Classical) (in other words, Shut Up, TWILIGHT) is fairly solid, despite the placement of movie screenshots in such a way as to invite a person to judge according to those and not the associated books. Florentino Ariza is a particularly inspired choice. I think most of you will have problems with #6 (valid), but I would initially dispute #10, Queequeg (MOBY DICK) and #9, Yossarian (CATCH-22) as being, well, not that discriminating of their bedfellows. Ironically, this is a great quality to have if you're a sailor or in the military, but not so high in what the article calls "hunk qualities." (When did the word hunk go out of style? Just wondering.)

I humbly suggest replacing them with Nick Carraway, as played by Paul Rudd in the lost TV adaptation no one but me ever watched, but which I swear is real, and Vronsky from ANNA KARENINA (see 1997 adaptation), of course.

As a question of order, I would hold that you either put Heathcliff at #1, or Darcy at #1, and in either case you think the other side is crazy and should probably go back and read the related books again. I would put Darcy at #1 and accept that that is a predictor of my personality in some way. Hey, I see a new line for those Team [Whatever] shirts! (Ugh, just kidding.)

Thanks to Orrin for having my best interests at heart in sending this in.

Incomplete bibliography of Benno von Archimboldi

1. LUDICKE
2. THE ENDLESS ROSE
3. THE LEATHER MASK
4. RIVERS OF EUROPE
5. BIFURCARIA BIFURCATA
6. INHERITANCE
7. SAINT THOMAS
8. THE BLIND WOMAN
9. THE BLACK SEA
10. LETHAEA
11. THE LOTTERY MAN
12. THE FATHER
13. THE RETURN

Other books written (unsure as to chronology): THE KING OF THE FOREST, THE GARDEN, D'ARSONVAL, RAILROAD PERFECTION, THE BERLIN UNDERWORLD, BITZIUS

Reading on the Road: I was unrecognizable to myself

I'm off to Philadelphia today to run a half-marathon tomorrow. I will endeavor to move as little as possible in order to wake up fresh -- this is called "strategy" -- so of course some quality reading material had to make the luggage cut. I'm taking my library copy of Jennifer Close's GIRLS IN WHITE DRESSES, much praised by friends for its realistic depiction of the lives of city-dwelling late-20-something women. I should say, some friends -- I mentioned I was about to start it yesterday on Twitter and got a few people who said, actually, they wouldn't recommend it. (And then I said to myself, "I'll be the judge of that!" No offense, everyone. And I'm hoping to catch up on the insidery-media Kindle singles I bought ages ago, THE JUNKET and VANITY FAIR'S HOW A BOOK IS BORN.

If anyone has recommendations of good independent Philly bookstores, I would extra appreciate them, particularly if they are centrally located. I know the airport there used to have a well stocked Barbara's Bestsellers, but that seems to have turned over -- not that I'll be in the airport anyway.

Caption this photo

CAREY MULLIGAN AS DAISY: You guys I am so excited to be in this movie!!! You guys!!!
LEONARDO DICAPRIO AS GATSBY: Look at how mysterious I am. That has "Oscar bait" written all over it.
CAREY MULLIGAN AS DAISY: Leo! I used to have posters of you on my wall, Leo! Okay, I can totally focus for this shot!
LEONARDO DICAPRIO AS GATSBY: Maybe I won't even need this 3-D piece of ridiculousness if J. Edgar takes off. Never mind, practicing my Oscarface anyway.
CAREY MULLIGAN AS DAISY: My hair is so pretty!
LEONARDO DICAPRIO AS GATSBY: She came so well-regarded. I don't know what's going on here. Was Gwyneth not available?
CAREY MULLIGAN AS DAISY: I have read this book like 500 times you guys! But I never thought I was going to play Daisy! I mean, Daisy, right! In your face Knightley, in your face!
TOBEY MAGUIRE AS NICK CARRAWAY: Derp derp derpy derp! Derp.

Source. And before you start, I'm sure Carey Mulligan is plenty smart and Leonardo DiCaprio has done a lot of movies that did not directly lead to Oscarville. And I still like Baz Luhrmann even though it is definitely not cool to do so right now.

How about "Occupy n+1" ?

Keith Gessen (ALL THE SAD YOUNG LITERARY MEN) was arrested at an Occupy Wall Street protest yesterday. Girlfriend Emily Gould commented incorrectly, "Also your sad young lit man jokes are not now/ have never been funny."