"Today is the day I write an amazing sequel to somebody else's book." Dinosaur Comics does it again! If I had a webcomic, this would definitely be my Webcomic Idol (and not just because I can't draw for anything).

Idle chatter

• I was all set to cheer for this poll in which Americans ranked books as their top indulgence (ahead of dining out, shopping, vacation and movies)... until I noticed it was conducted by Harlequin. Sneaks.

• Arrr! The Millions interviews a book pirate.

• If you get an e-mail from Don DeLillo, it's probably spam. Also, this is the second high-profile author interview from the Wall Street Journal I've linked to recently (McCarthy was the last -- also an unwilling interviewee). What does Rupert have on these dudes? It must be good!

• "Nothing is more frightening than 9th graders jeering '4 legs good, 2 legs bad' over and over again." Teachers on their favorite and least favorite books to teach.

• The National Book Critics Circle (of which I am a member) recently announced its 2009 award nominees, but one winner to note: Joyce Carol Oates is picking up a lifetime achievement award, which is not a set-up because I recently read that JCO has been unable to write since her husband died in 2008. That is just damn sad. (Also, am jerk.) So, congrats on the award, and sorry for your loss.

Your Assistance Please: All high school students should read this book.

If high schools around the country aren't already back in session, they'll be in by Tuesday. At some of them, a computer will suggest what students should read. At others, the students will get to pick.

Readers, we can do better, being neither computers nor still in high school. Even if you are still in high school, you probably have some strong opinions about what should be read. Say, in a sitcom-worthy twist, you have found yourself working at a high school (doesn't have to be yours) and you get one pick to assign the kids. What do you choose?

Unlike a normal teacher, assume you are not constrained by time period, nationality or conflicts with other courses. It can be something you read in high school or something you only wish you had read in high school.

I'll put my pick in a comment, but first, here are the picks of two newly minted high school graduates with whom I am well acquainted! Since their Google searches are relatively unbesmirched, I will refer to them as I met them, as "Twin A" and "Twin B." Keep in mind, I virtually cornered them to help me with no preparation:

• Twin A picks THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO because it was "exciting, well written and had the best plot ever." Also thinks more nonfiction should be assigned in general, because it isn't represented in either history or English curricula.
• Twin B picks THE GREAT GATSBY because "not only is it an amazing book, but it also teaches you a lot about symbolism. Everything in that book represents some greater idea which ties into what Fitzgerald is trying to say. It's also beautifully written, and the imagery is striking."

(Thanks, guys.)

WAR AND PEACE is still overrated

From the Hawaiian office: Newsweek has come up with what it's calling the "Top 100 Books: The Meta-List," formed by an unholy hybrid of 10 lists including the Modern Library lists of fiction and nonfiction, but also Wikipedia's biggest best-sellers and Oprah's book-club picks. (I'm not certain Oprah herself would call those the best books ever.) The list is more than a little British, Greek- and Roman-friendly and 4 percent Shakespeare; The Lesser Tolstoy tops the list with 1984 and ULYSSES nipping at its heels.

Accounting for the facts that I have read one book in the His Dark Materials trilogy and the ODYSSEY but not the ILIAD, and rounding up on the Bible, I have read 50.83 books on this list. Dare you best me on the field of literature?