The Best Picture Nominees, If They Were Historical Romance Novels

AMERICAN BUSTLE
THE MOST DASHING CAPTAIN PHILLIPS
DALLAS SWEETHEART BUYERS CLUB
THE GRAVITY OF MY EMOTIONS
HER, THAT LADY WHOM I LOVE
NEBRASKA NOCTURNE
PHILOMENA, FAIR MAIDEN DISHONOR'D
12 YEARS A SLAVE TO YOUR MEMORY
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET TAMED