Another spin around the planet, another batch of winners from the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest who promise to stretch the boundaries of the English language in ways it should never be stretched, like an elephant in Spandex. Wisconsin represents again with Adam McDonough of Reedsburgh (southwest of the Dells, northwest of Baraboo), but here are my favorites:
She Wasn't Wearing Pink Memorial Award: "His chest glistened like a pumpkin seed, either one fresh out of the pumpkin but with all the orange strands of pumpkin flesh removed, or one straight out of the oven after being coated in just the right amount of oil and then baked; the point is that it was smooth, fairly shiny, and that color." --Jesse Kolman
Worst Image: "The wind whispering through the pine trees and the sun reflecting off the surface of Lake Tahoe like a scattering of diamonds was an idyllic setting, while to the south the same sun struggled to penetrate a sky choked with farm dust and car exhaust over Bakersfield, a town spread over the lower San Joaquin Valley like a brown stain on a wino’s trousers, which is where, unfortunately, this story takes place." --Dennis Doberneck
Best Reversal: "Leaning back comfortably in a plush old chair, feet up, fingers laced behind his head, Tom Chambers inventoried his life and with a satisfied grin mused, 'Ah, marlin fishing off the coast of Majorca, a bronze star for that rescue mission in Jamir, the unmatched fragrance of pastries fresh out of the oven at Café Legrande, two sons who would make any father proud . . . I’ve never done any of that.'" --Ernie Santilli
Read about my take on last year's here and an interview with a previous Bulwer-Lytton winner.
15 hours ago
1 comment:
These passages are amazing, radiating light not like that from the orb of the sun, which burns, but like white lighting, which is very difficult to capture and yet glorious and quick and cool, not unlike the surface of Neptune.
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